If you have a neurodivergent child in your life, you’ve probably heard the line:
“They’re a little behind.”
Which begs the question, behind *what*?
Usually, it means they don’t fit the typical classroom pace/ milestones/ template.
But none of those were built with their brain in mind.
Most of our systems (hello, schools!) are designed for neurotypical development, so they prize things like compliance, linear progress, verbal fluency, group conformity and sitting still (which they call ‘being good’).
When a child fidgets, reads late or speaks out of turn, the default label is “deficit.”
AND YET … the very wiring behind those behaviours often carries complementary strengths waiting to be harnessed.
Research tells us
🧠 Autistic children often show above-average pattern recognition
🧠 ADHD brains can access remarkable bursts of creativity, intuition and hyperfocus
🧠 Dyslexic thinkers often excel in spatial reasoning and complex systems
What would a world look like where we celebrated neurodivergent children’s strengths?
We’d approach things from a totally different direction.
We’d wonder,
— What comes naturally?
— What’s the thing they do that makes me go, “How did you do that?”
— What gives them energy?
We’d use phrases like
“That was such a creative solution.”
“I love how your brain noticed that.”
“You kept going even when it was hard.”
“The way you think is a real strength here.”
… and highlight specific things
“You remembered that tiny detail from three weeks ago, what an amazing working memory!”
“You asked a question no one else thought to ask. This helped us all learn!”
“You figured out a new way to use what we already had, very inventive!”
If you’re a SEND parent, you have a particularly important and difficult job.
(You know that already, right?)
You have the opportunity to build your child’s self-worth in a world that keeps asking them to contort.
For everyone else, remember this:
There’s enough sameness in the world already.
What we need more of, is kids who are allowed and supported to become fully themselves.
