Back in the day, child development mostly meant hitting milestones.
Walk, Talk, Sleep.
If you could behave in public and say please, you were ‘fine’.
But over the past few decades, the science has changed.
Now we know that the first years of life shape brain wiring, we understand sensory overload, we know stress can turn into long-term shutdown, and we know that “fine” isn’t always the goal.
I made a one-pager about Child development then vs now
What’s changed and what you can do DIFFERENTLY!
There’s a grid in there with exact phrases, habits, and practical adjustments.
Things like:
1️⃣ Behaviour is communication
→ Instead of punishing immediately, ask “What’s this behaviour telling me?” For example aggression might signal hunger, tiredness, or emotional overload.
2️⃣ Kids co-regulate before they self-regulate
→ When a child is distressed, stay physically close, breathe slowly, speak softly. They pick up on your calmness
3️⃣ Language builds brains
→ Narrate what’s happening: “You’re stacking the blocks so carefully!”
Use rich, descriptive language,especially in play.
4️⃣ Secure attachment leads to resilience
→ Spend at least 10 minutes daily on child-led play. Don’t instruct or correct, just follow their lead.
5️⃣ Routine helps emotional safety
→ Use visual schedules, predictable transitions, and simple cues: “After a snack, we brush our teeth.” This reduces meltdowns.
6️⃣ Sensory needs affect behaviour
→ Watch for signs like covering ears, hiding under tables, or sudden shutdowns. Offer quiet, dim spaces to regroup.
7️⃣ Children thrive on connection over correction
→ Replace “Stop that!” with “Let’s try this together.” This builds trust
We’ve come so far, but I’m sure there’s still a lot to learn.
