Understanding Neurodivergence: Communication

Kit Smithies
July 2025
4 min read

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Caring for children comes with unique challenges—but also incredible rewards. As a nanny, you play a vital role in helping children navigate their world with confidence. This guide is part of ‘Understanding Neurodivergence,’ an 8-part series designed to give you practical, easy-to-use strategies to support children in their daily lives. From managing transitions and sensory needs, to supporting emotional regulation and communication skills, we’ll help equip you with real, actionable techniques to create a nurturing, structured, and empowering environment for the children in your care. Whether you’re new to these challenges or looking to refine your approach, this series will help you support each child’s unique strengths and needs—one step at a time.

Clear Connections: Communicating with Neurodivergent Children

Caring for neurodivergent children, like those with autism or ADHD, requires clear and thoughtful communication. These children may process language differently, so nannies need to adapt their approach to build trust and understanding. By using simple, literal language, incorporating visual tools, and allowing extra processing time, you can help children feel secure and supported. Here are actionable tips to communicate effectively with the children you care for.

Use Clear and Literal Language

Neurodivergent children often take words literally, so figurative speech, idioms, or sarcasm can confuse them. For example, saying “It’s raining cats and dogs” might make a child look for animals falling from the sky, while “You’re pulling my leg” or “Hop to it” may not make sense. Instead, use direct, specific phrases like “It’s raining heavily” or “Please help me carry this.” If you want the child to put on their shoes, say, “Please put your shoes on now,” rather than, “Get ready to go.” This clarity helps them understand exactly what you expect.

When giving instructions, break them into small, manageable steps. For instance, instead of saying, “Clean your room,” try, “Pick up your toys and put them in the box.” Check for understanding by asking the child to repeat the instruction or show you what they’ll do. If they seem puzzled, explain simply and note phrases to avoid in the future. Keep your tone encouraging and patient to maintain a positive connection, reducing frustration for both you and the child.

Incorporate Visual Schedules

Visual schedules are a great tool for children who struggle with verbal instructions or transitions. Create a chart with pictures or words showing the day’s activities, like breakfast, playtime, and bedtime. Review it with the child in the morning to set expectations. For example, point to a picture of a sandwich and say, “After playtime, we’ll have lunch.” This helps them anticipate what’s next, which will help reduce their anxiety. You can use a whiteboard, printed cards, or apps designed for visual schedules.

Try Social Stories

Social stories are short, simple narratives that explain what to expect in specific situations. They’re especially helpful for autistic children. For example, if you’re taking the child to the park, write a story like: “My name is Sam. Today, I’m going to the park with my nanny. We will walk to the park, play on the swings, and come home for a snack.” Read it together before the outing to prepare them. You can create these stories with paper and drawings, or use templates found online.

Allow Extra Processing Time

Many neurodivergent children need extra time to process spoken instructions. After giving a direction, pause for a few seconds to let them absorb it. For example, after saying, “Please put your book on the shelf,” wait silently to give them time to respond. Avoid repeating or rephrasing immediately, as this can overwhelm them. If they use alternative communication methods, like sign language or picture cards, allow even more time for them to express themselves. This patience shows respect for their pace and builds their confidence in communicating.

Use Alternative Communication Tools

Some neurodivergent children, especially those who are non-verbal, benefit from alternative communication methods. Basic sign language, picture cards, or apps like PECS (Picture Exchange Communication System) can help them express needs. For example, give the child a card with a picture of a glass of water if they want a drink. Pair words with gestures, like pointing to the door when saying, “Let’s go outside.”

Be Patient and Positive

Always use a calm, encouraging tone. Acknowledge the child’s efforts to communicate, even if it’s non-verbal, like pointing or nodding. For example, say, “I saw you point to the toy—great job telling me what you want!” This builds their confidence and makes communication a positive experience. Avoid rushing them, as processing delays are common, especially for autistic children.

Final Thoughts:

As with any element of childcare, open communication with parents is essential. Discuss their child’s specific needs and effective strategies. By working together, you can provide a consistent and supportive environment that helps the child thrive.

Effective communication with neurodivergent children involves using clear, literal language, visual aids like schedules and social stories, and alternative tools like picture cards. By allowing extra processing time and maintaining a patient, positive tone, nannies can foster trust and understanding. These strategies, tailored to the child’s unique needs, create a supportive environment that makes daily interactions smoother and helps children feel valued and heard.

If you’d like further support or advice, you can check out the resources below, or reach out to the team at Koru Kids to speak to one of our in-house support team.